


Just Growing With the Flow

by Galaxy_Australis



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Haikyuu - Freeform, M/M, MSBY Black Jackals - Freeform, Other, aobajohsai, demiboy OC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24590410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galaxy_Australis/pseuds/Galaxy_Australis
Summary: "I have felt like I am not good enough"*****"But I am here, trying to thrive with these thoughts...Just Growing with the Flow."~~~~~~~~~~~~~Konishi Hisahito has a strong bond between the captain of Aobajohsai, Oikawa Tooru. It got to the point he could say he had feelings for the flirtatious captain. Though, he learned very quickly that those feelings wouldn't be returned. So he just went along with it. Once Oikawa graduated, something felt as if it was missing.Once Konishi graduated, he joined MSBY Black Jackals with Miya Astumu and Sakusa Kiyoomi and meets Bokuto Koutarou. Which a year later, Hinata Shouyou joins too. He thought the piece he was missing returned. The five of them became inseparable. Not long after he has an unexpected reunion with someone.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru- Implied, Oikawa Tooru/Oc
Kudos: 9





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any of the Haikyuu characters except the OC, Konishi Hisahito.  
> This changes some canon thing, like practices and Oikawa's training (in the beginning).

I never feel like I am good enough.

I thought I had it all back in junior high, I had amazing grades, the best brother who was the captain of Aobajohsai at the time, and I was starting libero of my volleyball team. I didn’t have a worry in the world. That all changed in high school. My grades were still the same, but my brother left for college and I am not a starting libero.

It all started when I signed up for the volleyball club at Aobajohsai. When I got there to try-out there was Watari Shinji. He was originally a setter, but they let him have the position of starting libero. Well at least for when the current libero left. Though I still was on the team, as a Defense Specialist. There is nothing wrong with being a DS, but it doesn’t give many opportunities to play.

This was the beginning of this feeling. I didn’t think much of it, since Watari didn’t play as much. So, the feeling was small. Now, that we are second years it has only grown. It has gotten to the point that thoughts have flooded my head. This has driven me to work harder. I take my lunches to practice receives and run home after practice. It has gotten to the point that I practice even on the club’s day off. And that’s how I met Oikawa…

*****

After class, I changed into my workout clothes, and head for the gym. I swung the copy of the gym key that I have (how I got it is not important). I got to the doors, I noticed it is unlocked. I froze. ‘Did I forget the lock the gym after the last practice?’ I pondered at.

I am snapped back into reality by the sound of a volleyball hitting the ground. I opened the door to see the team captain practicing one of his insane serves. He throws the ball into the air in front of him, he runs towards the volleyball jumping into the air. His hand met the ball and he slammed his hand into it, sending it on the other side. If it was during a game, it would have been out of bounds.

He knew it was out, he showed it on his face, he looks pissed and disappointed. He shifted his eyes towards my direction. My anxiety shot up. Up until now I have only seen Oikawa around the club and see him play games, but I haven’t talked to him. “Sorry I…I didn’t know…know that you were practicing. I…I will go… go,” I managed to stumble out of my mouth.

He turned to face me and walked over to my direction. He puts on a smile, waved and greeted me, in a sing song tone, “Oh hello, Konishi-kun. It’s Monday, there’s no practice, so what are you doing here.”

“I—well you see—I…” I stuttered, looking down. “I am here to—to work on my receives… but I can practice later… I can go.” I nervously laughed.

“You can stay. How about we practice together? You receive my serves and I learn what I need to improve.” He offered. Wow. That’s a hard offer to pass up, Oikawa’s serves are powerful. Most volleyball players can’t receive them. It would definitely help me.

“Wow. Are—are you sure? It…wouldn’t be a problem?” I questioned. I don’t mean to sound shy. I am just nervous since he is on a different level. He is in the spotlight and I am in the shadows. Like damn! I am so surprised that he even knows my name! I mean I have played along side him a handful of times, but we never interacted directly.

“Yes, I’m sure! Go to the other side of the court and be ready to receive.” He replied. I didn’t argue and ran to the other side and prepared for myself for what is about to come.

He goes through his long prep before serving, which takes a while, but I am here to practice so I can’t complain. He tossed the ball into the air and jumped to slam the ball over the net to my side of the court. I shifted towards the right, where the ball was hurling towards. Though I notice something off. It wasn’t going to the right, it is going to curve left. In a split second, I lunged to the left as the ball curves. I managed to touch the ball for it only to go out. Also causing me to fall.

Oikawa snickered at my fall. I shot a glare, I didn’t think it was funny. “The fall was great. Though that was observant of you to notice the curve. Impressive.” He said, in his infamous sing song tone.

“Oh thanks, I think it’s amazing you can make the ball curve!” I complimented. Oikawa smiled. It isn’t so bad to talk to him. He seems like a child at heart, like me. “Shall we go again?’ I asked. He agreed and we continued for a few hours.

What we didn’t realize this was the start of a beautiful bond…

*****

“Koni-kun~ You ready for lunch?” a voice called out to me. I raised my head up from the desk. For a second, I didn’t realize who it was until my eyes focused and I heard whispers around the room. It was Oikawa?! I was shocked.

“Oikawa-san?! What are you doing here?” I shouted. I am flustered since a third year, the captain of the volleyball team is right outside my classroom, asking me about lunch. I know I shouldn’t seem as shocked since I practice at the same gym and the same time, but we have had little interaction.

“Well, I came here to see if you wanted lunch and squeeze in some practice.” Oikawa clarified. I couldn’t form any words with sound, so I just nodded. “Great! Let’s go!” He smiled and moved out of the doorway. I stood up and exited the room, hearing whispers around me, rumors about me.

Oikawa waited outside in the hallway next to the door to the right. He saw me and we left to go outside. It was an awkwardly silent walk outside. Like should I start a conversation, or do I wait for him to start it. Instead, I glanced over, I observed his appearance (not in a creepy fanboy kind of way). I had to admit he is very attractive. He stood about six feet, about 5 inches taller than me. Oikawa’s hair is a medium brown color that parted a little farther to the right, and swooped outwards on both sides. His eyes were a lighter brown with golden specks in the sun, but inside they match his hair. His figure is lean but still muscular and his jawline is sharp.

“So, you play libero, or you did at some point. I can tell since you have amazing perceptive skills and fast reflexes to dig under the ball when we practiced yesterday.” Oikawa striked up the conversation first. He made eye contact with me and I quickly look away and faced towards the ground. Those intrusive thoughts echoing in my head.

I shake those thoughts out long enough to respond without spewing out the truth. “Well, I played libero in junior high, and when I was in elementary, I would help my brother practice his spikes, and played with some of my childhood friends that go to Nekoma.” I answered.

“Nekoma? So, you lived in Tokyo, so why did you move to Miyagi and come here?” Oikawa questioned.

“Actually, I moved here back in junior high, my older brother attended here a few years ago, he graduated the year before I came here. He was the captain of the volleyball team that year, too.”

“Wait your brother was Konishi Sadao? I mean I should have known but I didn’t want to assume. I remember setting for him in practice.”

“Yeah, he was an amazing wing spiker. I actually wear his jersey number before he became captain.” I said. I praised my brother. He was my role model. He was an amazing volleyball player and a great leader. I have missed him since he is off to college.

After that we started a rally with the volleyball. We continued for a long time, I was lucky I didn’t get my school uniform dirty, since I rolled in the grass in a few times to dig the ball up. I even spiked the ball a few times to help Oikawa with his tosses. I enjoyed it, this was nice, though I couldn’t shake off my intrusive thoughts, they echoed endlessly during lunch. It wasn’t easy, but I tried to ignore them, though Oikawa helped with just being there. Before lunch ended, we stopped, since Oikawa’s right knee was hurting, and he didn’t have his knee supporter on.

We headed back inside, and Oikawa walked me back to my class. I look at the sleeves of my white button up. I sighed in defeat as they had dirt scuff marks all over them. Oikawa laughed and joked about it. We waved, said our farewells and that we would see each other during practice.

I sat back at my desk, putting my head down again. This is when those thoughts won. They echoed relentlessly, pushing me to the verge of tears. ‘You aren’t good enough.’ ‘Your brother would be so disappointed in you.’ ‘Oikawa is only pitying you.’ ‘The coach only gave you a chance because of who your brother is.’

*****

Over this year, Oikawa and I got extremely close, we spent a lot of time together. He is a lot more childish then he appeared, and I like that. I got to hang out with Iwaizumi a bit. His interacts with Oikawa is funny. They made this school year more enjoyable. Of course, the thoughts remain but they don’t affect me much when Oikawa or Iwaizumi is around. Oikawa helps me with my receives and we go train together.

Over this year, I developed feelings for the pretty boy. Though, I could see in his eyes he loved Iwaizumi, and he sees me as a little brother. So, I suppressed the feeling, praying I could destroy it…

We ended up losing to Karasuno in the Miyagi Qualifiers in the semifinals. So, our season is over. It hit Oikawa hard since his volleyball career in high school is over. It didn’t stop us from practicing. I ended up injuring my right knee, from over working myself. So I had to sit on the sidelines during practice. Then during Nationals, we watched Karasuno with Iwaizumi.

I had to admit that #10, Hinata Shouyou, is a freak of nature, I wouldn’t want to mess with him. No wonder Oikawa is so interested, since Kageyama, his rival, and Hinata were an unstoppable pair.

But now today, the third years graduate, and Oikawa would leave for San Juan to play volleyball there in the next week. I went to see all the third years on the volleyball team. They were amazing players and nice guys.

After I said my farewells to the other third years, I went to go find Iwaizumi and Oikawa, maybe we could go get food or something. I find them towards a secluded area. I see Oikawa flushed and Iwaizumi confused. I don’t know what was going on and I think about leaving them alone, but I was curious.

I end up regretting staying. You know that saying, “Curiosity killed the cat.” That ended up being the case, but it wasn’t a cat killed but my heart. I heard Oikawa confess to Iwaizumi. I knew that, but hearing it out of Oikawa’s mouth confirmed it. It still broke my heart. I didn’t stay to hear Iwaizumi’s response. I left and walk home.

While walking back, new intrusive thoughts screamed in my head. ‘You aren’t good enough for Oikawa’s love.’ ‘You don’t deserve to be in the spotlight.’ ‘When will you learn to settle for the shadows.’ I wish I could’ve been able to run, but with my injury I couldn’t.

Ever since then those thoughts remain. Oikawa left for San Juan, and a part of me went with him. He and Iwaizumi are great, they deserve each other. They deserve to be happy. I’ll just be here, stuck in this void, knowing I am never good enough.

I am here, trying to thrive with these thoughts…

**Just Growing with the Flow**.


	2. Five Years Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five years past from the incident. Hisa closed himself off and changed drastically. Until he joined MSBY Black Jackals. Bokuto, Hinata, Sakusa, and Miya opened up his world.
> 
> They are finishing practice, heading out to hang out and eat before turning in for the day. Though Hisa experienced something that hasn't been there in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the manga, the starting libero for MSBY Black Jackals is Shion Inunaki, but for this story my OC, Hisa, is starting libero. It is important for the plot later in the story.  
> Also I made an attempt on honorifics, but it doesn't feel right.  
> I hope you enjoy the chapter!

“Nice Serve!”

The ball flies in the air, over the net over to my side of the court. The serve was low, so I dive down to the ground to dig the ball back up. I manage to touch the ball sending it, to the setter, Miya Atsumu. He tosses the ball to Sakusa Kiyoomi, who spikes it. The other libero, Shion Inunaki, dives to save the ball, missing it by a few inches. The whistle blows, saying that our team earned a point.

“Nice Kill!” Everyone congratulates Sakusa on his spike. As we also celebrate the win of our second set for this practice match. Miya tries to give Sakusa a high-five but Sakusa just gives a disgusted face in return. I just laugh at the scene.

Coach Foster walks towards the court, “Alright, that seems like enough practice for the day. Everyone go home, refuel, and get some rest for tomorrow’s practice. Good work today, and remember we have the first match of this season coming up,” he announced.

Everyone sighs in relief, finally being able to take a breath. These practices are long and difficult. Most the team members get into their little groups, leaving the gym to collect their belongings and go home. I stay behind to stretch my sore body. Especially, my knee.

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Konishi- kun! You comin’ with us for food?” I hear Bokuto yell out from across the gym. I look up to see him with Miya, Hinata, and Sakusa.

I smiled. “Sure! Just give me a minute to finish my stretches, then I will grab my stuff and change.”

They all nodded and left to go collect their things. I finish a hamstring stretch, which I finish my cool-down routine after practices. I stand up and go to get my things and join up with the rest of the group.

I enter the locker rooms, which was mainly empty, except Hinata praising Sakusa and Bokuto and Miya ‘discretely’ watching Hinata. He is hopelessly in love with him, has been for a long time. I laugh and go to my locker and grab a pair of casual clothing. I sneak into the shower area to change. I just don’t feel comfortable changing in front of others.

I change out of my sweaty white t-shirt and black workout shorts. I put on a dull teal long sleeve shirt, black sweatpants and my MSBY team jacket. I also put my earrings back on. I usually take them off during practice. I join the other back in the locker room and throw my disgusting workout clothes in my gym bag. Note to self: Do laundry back at home.

“Showin’ some Seijoh pride, hm?” Miya teases and smirks, pointing out my shirt. I didn’t even realize that I picked this shirt. I haven’t worn any teal since I transferred to Nekoma for my third year. I just didn’t want to be reminded of everything.

“I didn’t realize I picked this shirt.” I corrected him. I didn’t mean to sound rude, but that wasn’t funny to me. He apologizes and I forgive him, he doesn’t know so I shouldn’t give him a hard time.

“Well, we ready to leave? I’m starving!” Bokuto shouts. Miya, Hinata, and I laugh at Bokuto impatient behavior. While Sakusa hides in the corner. I would totally join him if he wasn’t a germaphobe and give me a disgusted look.

We all leave the locker room and exit the gym. We walk down the streets and Sakusa puts on his mask.

“Bokuto-san! You were amazing in practice. You went like woosh! Then whablam!” Hinata continues to praise Bokuto. He is adorable when he uses his own terms to describe a spike. I look behind me to see Miya staring at Hinata and Sakusa on his phone. Well I won’t disrupt their own little worlds, I will just do my own thing, instead.

I observe our surroundings. We are walking on a sidewalk on a small bridge over a river. It’s quite peaceful. I zone out Hinata and Bokuto to hear cicadas in the distance. The sunset’s reflection is distorted by the ripples of the movement in the water. I look to the other side of the bridge. I see two figures walking the opposite direction. I realize it is a junior high kid and his parent maybe? I could only see the silhouette of the figures, I didn’t give it a second thought.

“Hey! We are finally here! I can get some food!” Bokuto cheers.

“Woohoo!!!!” Hinata joins in. “Last one in pays for the group’s meals” He dashes in the restaurant.

Bokuto yells, “Ain’t gonna be me!” He follows behind Hinata. I walk in right after, then Miya and finally Sakusa. He didn’t care if he is last, he just remains quiet.

We sit down at a table and I instantly feel eyes watching us. They feel like they were burning my back. I mean we are a Division 1 team for Japan, of course we are going to be well known. Especially since I am surrounded by our wing spikers and setter. They get the attention with the flashy spikes and earning the points. It’s not like I don’t have my moments. I have my digs that save the ball and prevent us from losing points. Though liberos don’t get as much attention. We stay in the back.

We order our food and awkwardly watch the waitress flirt with Miya. It isn’t just us being awkward, Miya appears uncomfortable but goes along with it. Once she leaves, we laugh it off. While we wait for our food, we talk about what goes on at home. I talk about my pets and what’s been up with Kuroo and Kenma. Hinata talks about Kageyama and how he misses him, which makes Miya jealous. Then Bokuto talks about a recent date he went on with Akaashi. Sakusa says he has been cleaning and Miya complains about an argument he had with his twin.

I look around the group and smile. I am so fortunate to have them. After that incident with the Oikawa and Iwaizumi, I didn’t have many people to rely on. When I joined the Black Jackals, Bokuto, Miya, and Sakusa opened my world, then little Hinata completed the group. They fixed that piece that was missing when Oikawa left. I am happy to be on a team with them— ‘not good enough’ I hear echo in my head.

Why? Why now? I haven’t heard any intrusive thoughts for three years and they decide to come back! But why now? I am fine. I have an amazing team that care for me and my wellbeing. I am playing my position! I am the starting libero of my team! I am happy!

 _“Koni-kun~, Koni-kun~”_ That nickname rings in my head. I can hear _his_ voice, I can envision _him_.

“Koni-san! The foods here!” Hinata snaps me out of my thoughts. I look down to see my food sitting on the table in front of me. Then I look up to see my teammates concerned faces. All of the look worried but none of them are too awkward to bring it up, until Miya said something.

“Konishi-kun, ya alright? Ya seem distressed.” Miya said.

“I am fine, you don’t have to worry about it. It’s nothing I haven’t faced before.” I reassure them. It’s true, this isn’t new, but it evolved, I think. They didn’t seem to believe me, but they let it go. “Well let’s dig in.”

“Thank you for the food” All five of us chime.

Bokuto and Hinata scarf down their food. I have eaten with them before, though it will never cease to amaze me how they can eat so fast.

After all of us finish our food, Sakusa pays for the food. We thank him and I pay him back for my portion of the cost. Even though he voluntarily paid, I still felt bad. He tries to refuse, but I am persistent, and I win in the end.

We leave and head back to our apartments. I am not kidding when I say this, we all live in the same building and found out not long after we started practicing a few years back. So, we are inseparable… literally. It is now routine to see each other almost 24/7. We meet up before practice in the mornings, then walk home after practices. Then on days off, we hang out at one of our places. I can’t explain who we are not sick of each other, not because I don’t want, it’s because I can’t.

We bid our goodnights and go our separate ways to our apartment units. I unlock my door and I am greeted by two dogs, Rina and Maron. Rina is a female Shiba Inu and Maron is a female Corgi. They jump on me and give me lots of love. I grab their leashes and take them on a jog. They are always cooped up since I am gone for practice a lot. Some days I even take them to my dad’s so they can get some attention.

I put headphones on and put my phone in my pocket. I give Rine and Maron a few minutes to do their business and I clean it up. Then we are off on a jog. It is a nice night. It isn’t hot out and there is a cool breeze. The dogs seem to joy it as they trot, making sure they don’t drag me. 

This jog is definitely what I need, a nice way to clear my head of any negative thoughts and spend time with my two favorite girls. Maybe one time, the others could join me. I mean it definitely great conditioning and works on stamina. I’ll suggest it as an option, since they are hanging out at my place this weekend.

It is calm out. The area was dimly lit with streetlights every couple feet and the lights in houses visible from the covered windows. The sidewalks are almost empty, and I have only seen two cars drive on the roads since the dogs and I have been running. It is perfect jogging conditions.

Once jogging for a period of time, Rina, Maron, and I head back to the apartments. When we get back, I feed them and give them plenty of water. While they eat, I jump into the shower. I let the warm water droplets hit my skin. I find it soothing and satisfying. It brings me comfort, it’s my safe place.

After my shower, I go into my room. It is minimal, a bed, a nightstand, a desk, and a chair. I didn’t keep much to avoid having to clean. On my desk I have a computer and a few picture frames, one of the team, one of my dad, brother and I, and one of Kuroo and Kenma. Then one flat on the desk. I go to my closet and change into a worn-out pair of sweatpants and a tank top.

I walk out to the main area, to my gym bag. I carry it over to the washing machine. I throw my dirty workout clothes in along with any clothes that I have worn in the past week. I start thw washing machine and go back into my room. I scroll through my phone, reply to messages from my family and Kuroo. Soon, Rina and Maron jump on my bed. Rina lays by my side and Maron lays on my stomach. ‘Now this is the way to unwind from a long and sorta weird day.’ I think to myself.

My eyelids feel heavy. I shut off my phone and put it on the charger by my bed. Then I play music to help me sleep. I move Maron to my side while I cover myself in blankets. Then pick her up and put her back on my stomach. I lay my arm out above Rina, she moves her head on my arm. I wrap my arm around and pet her ears. I start to doze off into a deep sleep. This is the best part of my day, cuddling with my dogs.

Before I could fall asleep the dogs jolt up and jump of the bed, barking. Confused and a bit hazy, I stumble out of bed and shuffle to the front door. Rina and Maron are sniffing something that is poking out under the door. I open the door to see a white envelope. I pick it up and turn it over. All it read…

_Konishi Hisahito._

Now this will be interesting.


	3. One Off Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After receiving an unusual letter, Hisa didn't get much sleep that night. He couldn't get out of his head, which caused him to have a really bad day at practice.  
> After he got out of practice he went to his dad's and learns something unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the manga, the starting libero on MSBY is Shion Inunaki. In this story, my OC Konishi is the starting Libero. There are things changed to fit my OC.  
> Sorry this doesn't showcase the canon characters as much.  
> I hope you enjoy the chapter!

I didn’t get much sleep last night. I stayed up, thinking whether to open up the envelope or not. I ended up leaving it on my desk. I would feel more comfortable consulting the others for help. They might give me the advice and reassurance I need. Or would they be worried about me? Ugh at this point I have no clue. Should I just not tell them?

I get out of bed and head out to tell kitchen. I grab Rina’s and Maron’s food bowls and fill them. I also refill their empty water bowls. As they eat, I make my own breakfast. I crack a few eggs and mix them in a bowl. I grab some chicken and put it in a pan, fill it up with cold water and let it bowl. I pour a cup of rice into the rice cooker and let it steam.

I head to the bathroom and I see the scariest sight of my life—my reflection. I have dark circles under my eyes, ghostly skin, and messy bed- hair. I would describe my hair as Kuroo’s hair but with an undercut and it is silver with brown roots barely visible. I am not offending Kuroo’s hair style, it just doesn’t look good on me.

I wash my face, brush my teeth, and fix my hair. I exit the bathroom and back into the kitchen, I pour the eggs into the pans and let them sit for a few minutes to cook. I scoop out the rice out of the cooker and put it a bowl. Then throw the chicken, which is followed by the scramble eggs. Done! I set the bowl on the island bar in front of the kitchen and grab chopsticks to eat with.

**Bam!**

The door is kicked wide open. Startled, I jump back and face on my back. I hear laughter and Bokuto leans over me. “Good Mornin’!” He greets.

He holds his arm out, to help me up. I am about halfway up when Bokuto smells my breakfast and drops me. I am on the floor again. I am just going to stay down, maybe fall asleep. Rina and Maron run up to me and lick my face. Hinata bolts and yells, “Good Morning, Konishi-san! Oooo! Is that Dashi Eggs with Rice and Chicken?”

“Yes, and you two make your own,” I joke. I am still giving it to them either way.

“I can’t even make rice,” Bokuto confesses.

“I would just burn down my apartment,” Hinata says. Damn, I wasn’t expecting that at all. Well, I can mess with them when I comes to cooking.

I get up and push the bowl towards Bokuto and Hinata and tell them, “Share.”

They didn’t hesitate, they got chopsticks and shove as much food as they can in their mouths. You would think that they were playing the game chubby bunny or something. I chop up some fruits and eat those instead. Hinata and Bokuto finish what was once my breakfast and thank for giving them the food.

Miya and Sakusa arrive to my place. They both say good morning. We all chat while I finish my make-shift breakfast. I leave for a minute to change. I look at my desk and debate whether I tell them or not.

‘They won’t care they tell you, and if you don’t tell them then they will hate you.’ The thoughts intervene. They won’t leave me alone. Why are they here, why are they back now? ‘Better yet, are you even sure they are your friends. You remember what happened the last time you opened up, don’t ya.’

Shut up! I ignore the thoughts, grab my gym bag, and leave my room. I didn’t bring the envelope. I will bring it up later, it shouldn’t be a problem…I hope. I join them in the main area. Bokuto and Hinata rush out, racing I could assume. Miya leaves next to catch up to them. I give Rina and Maron some loves before I leave. Sakusa and I exit the apartment unit and lock the door. We meet up with Hinata, Miya, and Sakusa and walk our way to the gym for another long vigorous day of training.

*****

“Stop! Stop! Stop!” our captain, Shuugo Meian, calls out to me. I freeze in place and the volleyball that I was about to receive, hit my head. I look over while I rub my head to ease the pain. “Konishi, what is up with you? This is the worst you have played ever.”

“Sorry, Captain, I will make sure this won’t happen again.” I reply.

Coach Foster appears behind Meian. “What’s going on over here?” he asks. He looks at me, observing my pale ghostly skin, and the dark circles sagging under my eyes. “Konishi, you aren’t looking well. And with this poor performance today, I suggest you go home early today.”

I want to say something, anything to get me to stay for the rest of practice. Nothing would prove them wrong because they are right. I am not doing well. My performance has sucked since I stepped into this gym. From the lack of energy and I am not in the right mindset to play. I haven’t gotten the envelope out of my mind nor have intrusive thoughts have left me alone.

Instead of arguing with the Captain and Coach, I bow and apologize for the trouble. I exit the gym and go into the locker room to change. I change into a black t-shirt with the team’s logo (the black jackal) and white sweatpants. I put on the team jacket and my earrings.

On the walk home, I listen to music in my headphones. I am so used to walking with the squad, so this is my alternative to fill the silence with noise. I get home and Rina and Maron are excited to see me but also confused.

“How about we go visit dad, since we haven’t seen him in a few weeks.” I tell the dogs. They wag their tails or nub (Maron doesn’t have a tail, only a nub), to agree with the idea.

Before we leave, I grab the envelope, maybe my dad to help with this situation. He has been there through a lot of my ‘crazy situations’ he will definitely be here for this one. I hook the leashes onto the girl’s collars and we are off on our small trip.

About a thirty-minute walk later, we arrive at my dad’s house. I knock on the door and call out, “Hello? Dad? You home?”

The door opens but it wasn’t my dad, it was my brother, Sadao! “Hey little bro, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at practice, preparing for the season?” he greets, then proceeds to question. He loves to keep up with what’s going on with my team. That is one way he shows his support.

“Sadao? Who is at the door?” Our dad walks up to peak his head out. “Hisahito! What a wonderful surprise! Aren’t you supposed to be a practice, though?

“Yeah, um about that. I was sent home early because of my poor performance and the lack of energy I was giving off. So, I came here to bring the pups and get some advice.” I explain. They look at with me with a stunned look.

“You? Poor performance? And lack of energy? I thought I would never here those words in one sentence. You never let yourself preform poorly either in practice or a game.” Sadao laughs in disbelief. He isn’t wrong. No one (other than myself) has thought I preformed poorly in volleyball, so it was something new for me and others that knew me well.

Before I start explaining, I let go of Rina and Maron’s leashes and they run into my dad’s house. “Yeah, well it’s part of one of the reasons I came here, for advice. Well, I didn’t get much sleep last night because before I went to bed, this was slipped under my front door,” I pull out the envelope. “I didn’t know whether to open or leave it alone and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since.”

“Envelope? Hand it here, my child.” My dad holds out his hand. I give it to him and he examines it. “Oh, I saw it yesterday.” Dad hands it back.

“Oh yeah, didn’t that one guy, Oikawa, was it, stop by yesterday evening?” Sadao recalls. My heart stops. Oikawa? He is back in Japan? It’s been 5 years and he suddenly just appears again? Panic flows throughout my body. I left things awkward when we last spoke, and I don’t think I am ready to face him after all this time.

“That’s right! He said he was looking for you and wasn’t sure you still lived here. I found it odd he didn’t know you moved out, but I gave him your address. I thought you saw him and catching up with him.” My dad clarified. He did WHAT?

I tighten my grip around the letter. I don’t know how I feel about this. I don’t know if I should feel happy or panicked and betrayed. What should I do? Do I open it and see what he has to say or leave it alone and let it sit unopened for years to come? If I look on the Brightside, it’s not some random person leaving notes at my front door.

“Well come in, we can discuss this more, do you want some tea?” My dad asks. I nod and come inside. I go to the living room and sit at a couch. My brother sits next to me and dad is in the kitchen preparing tea for us. Only a few minutes pass, dad enters the living room with three cups of herbal tea. He sets the cups on the table and sits in the chair next to the couch. “Here you kiddos go.”

We all sit in a moment of silence while we grab out cups and take a sip. It is so quiet that all you could hear is Rina and Maron’s collar tags jingling in the distance of the backyard. Sadao beats my dad and I to break the silence. “So, Hisa, what happened between you and Oikawa? You two were so close five years back and then after he left you stopped talking about him.”

“It was the distance and different time zones is all. We never had the chance to talk with how busy he was,” I lie. I didn’t contact him after that day at the airport. He texted me a few times, but I never replied. I never thought I was ready to reply.

“Are you sure it was nothing? You seemed to be in a panic when I brought up his name only a few minutes before.” Sadao points out. Dad just watches and listens.

“Yeah I am sure, and even if something did happen, either would have told you guys already or I am too nervous to talk about it, which is a perfect reason to not talk about something.” I retaliate.

“So, something did happen!”

“Alright, yes something did happen. It just made things awkward. I am still not ready to talk about it yet. Well there is a more pressing matter at hand. What should I do about the letter, do I open it or should I leave it? I just don’t know what to do.” I dodge an old bullet.

“Hisahito, I am going to say this, but it comes down to when you are ready.” Dad answers. “Though, you should take the chance to read it and find him while he is in Japan. You don’t know the next time he will visit. You don’t want to regret it later.”

My dad makes a valid point. If I read it, I might have questions and I don’t know when I would have the opportunity to see him and ask those questions again. I might read it when I get home. My dad really opens my eyes when I really need it, “Thanks, dad! It really helped.” I say.

He smiles, so does my brother. I finish my tea and stand up. “I probably should get going, it’s almost Rina and Maron’s dinner time. Thank you for helping me!” I whistle to call the pups over and attach their leashes to their collars.

Before I leave the house, I give my dad and brother hugs. I say goodbye one last time as I exit the house. It was an amazing opportunity to see my brother and get amazing advice from my dad. They are the ones there when I think I am incapable of friends. Though, they have been my best friends ever since I was little. After all, they were the ones who raised me.

They are the ones who help when I need it the most. They always show a different perspective and open my eyes to more solutions.


End file.
